I have been at home. It feels safe here. Late summer is holding on tight this year and days have been gloriously warm and gentle. Perfect balm for the madness of the world which I do my best not to attend to these days.

I have been at home. I can feel myself growing quiet here. I have lived in my home in Tilba, in the land of green for nine years now. The trees I planted when I arrived remind me much time has passed and all of us have grown. I arrived here aged fifty and shouty, still attached to being successful and seen. In April I turn sixty. The yin is finally tempering the yang and the pull of stillness and silence grows louder with each day.

I have been at home. A life once lived revisits me here. I glance through old albums, chuck old stuff, read treasured letters from years and friends now gone and weep for a lover I once knew so well who nears his death. All feels precious, tender and fragile at the same time.

I have been at home. I am cooking in my beautiful kitchen here. It is my balm. Where I go when I feel lost and need to find myself. Where I go when I need to travel but can’t find my wings. Where I go when I am sick to heal myself. Where I go when I am lonely and need company. Creating a new recipe is like meeting a new friend, if I like it I make it and meet it again and again and every time I remake it I am transported back to the first time we met.

I have been at home. Cliffy is here. Winter is coming. But first autumn must take a bit more from me I suspect. So I will be at home. Seeking soft sun in a corner, learning acceptance with white knuckles, taking deep breaths.

go gently

x jody

.

My hydrangeas have opened but are on stage 1 or 2 of their three stage blooming schedule, roses are on their second flush, but the dahlias are yet to show their faces. Sheets dry on warm windy days but still need to be rushed in before 6pm to ensure I don’t need to return them to the line the next day to finish drying them.

I am not one to yearn for hot summer days like my Vata and Kapha friends. My Pitta constitution finds temperatures over 30C exhausting, depleting, highly sweaty and annoying. My mind becomes consumed with all the things it wishes it could fix in the world. I fantasise about the remedies I would propose if I still had my pre menopausal energy and I instead opt for cooling grounding remedies like reading, cooking Xmas food, spending time in nature and swimming in fresh water.

In Chinese Medicine, summer is ruled by the fire element. In this season the energy within us starts moving outward, calling us outdoors and encouraging us to connect with friends and family. It’s winter in the Northern Hemisphere the water element the energy in moving inward so those folks are being called indoors, sitting around fires, sipping on mulled wine and perhaps feeling more called to spend time alone which I think would probably feel quite conflicting in the festive season.

No matter where you are in the world however, the challenge these days is to keep your heart open whilst witnessing the events playing out in the world at the moment. On a stunning summer afternoon in Sydney at our most famous beach gunmen took the lives of innocent people who were enjoying all the fire element calls us to celebrate - light, connection and love. The impact of such an event will most likely be life altering for a lot of people.

The challenge after such a traumatising event is to keep ones heart open. Not open in a false way, but in a way that allows compassion to sit alongside fear and confusion and anger and shock and blame. The temptation is to rant and vent and to give voice to all the madness the mind is trying to reconcile and the remedy is to quietly say hello to the sad, confused little child inside who just wants to scream and be held and told they are safe.

I am always reminded of Tara Brach’s Rain of Self Compassion in times of such unmanageability. Brach’s acronym encourages us to

Recognise what we are feeling

Allow it to be there

Investigate where you feel it in your body

Nurture yourself “It’s OK sweetheart

Often when feelings are big or overwhelming we may find ourselves wanting to leave our bodies to escape them. We can do this by numbing out with medications (alcohol, drugs, social media, foods), we can become hyper focused on rescuing others and forgetting to tend to our own bodies. We may align strongly with one emotion whilst giving no voice to more tender vulnerable emotions eg being angry but giving no space for the grief or fear or vulnerability.

For me, the challenge is to not get stuck in the story. Yes a horrible thing happened but the world is not a horrible place. I need to be mindful that my mind will focus on whatever I allow it to so now it is essential that I take time to focus my mind each morning. On awakening I must consciously tune in to gratitude and love and turn the volume down on the negativity. To do this I take myself into nature where the language of right and wrong doesn’t exist and the present moment is hard to ignore when I am here.

I also need to set time aside to nourish myself because the gut and the mind are one in the same so if I am eating poorly my mind will struggle to focus. I am including some nourishing summer recipes that I hope you will make for you and your loved one over the festive season. Go gently sweet friends xx

Giant pistachio pancake with rose berries, cherries

5 eggs

2 tablespoons coconut oil

1 tablespoon rosewater

2 1/2 cups (625ml) coconut milk or water

1/2 cup (50g) ground pistachios

1/2 cup (60g) coconut flour

2 tablespoons dessicated coconut

2 tablespoons maple syrup

1 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 teaspoon ground cardamom

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Topping

200g cherries, pitted and halved

200g mixed berries

edible flowers

maple syrup, to drizzle

1. Preheat oven to 180°C/350°F. Grease and line a 26cmcm ovenproof fry pan.

2. Place the ground pistachios, coconut flour, dessicated coconut baking powder and spices into a bowl.

3. Whisk together the eggs, rosewater, coconut oil and coconut milk. Make a well in the dry ingredients, pour in the wet ingredients and mix until smooth. Pour into the prepared dish and bake for 30-40 minutes or until set.

4. Top with the cherries and berries and edible flowers and drizzle with the maple syrup.

Serves 4-6

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My Pitta (fiery and transformative) personality loves spring, bored after three dreary months of winter, I am chomping at the bit to get my teeth into something fresh.I’ve made a career out of birthing cookbooks, courses, trainings, retreats and gatherings and loved every minute of it.

However, this year I somehow forgot the menopause memo about change. This spring has probably been the hardest I can remember, I’ve seen a lot of things about my habits that are difficult to witness. The anger that bubbled up and over when I removed sugar from my diet on my 3 week spring cleanse was not about the sugar. My frustration and impatience at myself, my body, my life, my work was not about any of those things I could will external band aids onto. Sadly, in stripping away all of my dietary medications I came to the realisation that I’m still addicted to growth and transformation.

I am nearly sixty and the soft but strict restrictions life is putting on me now are very difficult to digest. No longer do I seem permitted to churn out content, offerings and anything else I dream up.

Many years ago my teacher Dr Claudia Welch shared a saying with me that has stuck in my cells. “May the reality of your ambitions meet you at the door”.

Unending indulgence in ambition is no longer applauded it seems in menopause. Or not for me anyway. I find myself pondering if that is because the next life phase is the chapter of Vata, the irregular, the moving, the imagined, the everchanging, the not knowing. Intolerant of Vata’s whimsical nature, I instead find myself stubbornly attached to trying to recreate my pleasure and purpose from what I have been doing for years, many many years. Don’t the Buddhist say that the cause of suffering is trying to recreate pleasure from repeating the same experience?

What if the magic is menopause is birthed in not being able to see what comes next. Even writing this sentence feels like agony for the forward focused Pitta part of me that refuses to let her flame dim. I’m ashamed to admit I witness the fiery me watching longingly on social media at younger versions of herself living their best lives selling out retreats, kicking career goals and travelling the world. The hot, determined, competitive part of me so badly wants to stay in that warm, bright, applauding place where the world made more sense. Yet life is calling a new part of her forward into the cooler, more spacious, subtle and quieter Vata realms. This is akin to asking yang to become yin, so no wonder it feels so damn uncomfortable for her.

In the Vata world, growth is not an outward measured thing. It is unseeable, unmeasurable and inward venture. Growth is more about learning how to moderate our movement. Learning how to grow still without stopping. Have any of you tried to grow still? It is really, really, really, hard. Not so much for Kapha types but for Vata and Pitta types it actually feels like torture.

So the universe seems to know we can’t and won’t do it alone so it helps us. Drying up our work, stripping away our friendships, restricting our bodies and making travel feel uncomfortable. It hands us gifts like increased creativity, more time to spend in nature and perfectly honed intuition but still we resist. Why? I think it is partly ego and partly habit. I know it’s uncomfortable. really really uncomfortable and I keep trying outsmart it, try coming at it from a different angle but I keep finding myself back at the same place. Realising letting go and doing less are the answers, and that aging gracefully means maintaining a quiet presence instead of a shouty look at me one.

As I write this I look out onto my garden where I am reminded the growth of the young trees is so noticeable, yet the huge gums that have claimed their space in my paddock long before I arrived show no apparent change year to year. They command my attention not by growth and movement but by stillness and presence.

I wonder if that is how we are meant to age. In Ayurveda, in the Vanaprashta years (50-75 years) we are encouraged to begin a gradual withdrawal from worldly life, detaching from the life we once knew and letting others seek our counsel. Our work now is meant to be more spiritual than financially profitable.

God willing, one day I will be wise enough to trust the world will find me. Right now, I see myself continuing to chase it, demanding it wait for me. It’s a painful, exhausting pursuit and perhaps it is time to stop, sit down and meditate.

A reminder that my menopausal community Gather is now open for Spring membership, if you feel called to join a wonderful group of women who are navigating this new phase of life with curiosity, humility and humour we would love to have you x

Our first zoom call is October 6th, 2025.

Join here

Join Spring Gather

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Being a freelancer (as we used to call ourselves before entrepreneur or influencer arrived on the scene) takes commitment and a lot of trust. Often I find myself white knuckling weeks when work is lean and finances are tight. I often fantasise about getting a 9-5 job and having a weekly income, but then I’m reminded how much I love what I do. Also, I am not very good at not being the boss, it’s a Pitta thing! (Pitta types are governed by the elements of fire and water they are hot, determined, impatient and good at leading not so good at following, that’s more a sweet Kapha thing (these types have the elements of earth and water dominant in their constitution so they are much more inclined to go with the flow) whereas Vata types who are air and space heavy like to be able to change on a whim, have freedom to imagine and create without boundaries.

I’ve been enjoying the arrival of spring, I have a clucky silkie chook, Prue who is sitting on unfertilised eggs and pecks me each morning as I squirrel the eggs out from underneath her. She will sit for about 3 weeks then sadly return to the world with nothing to show for her time. I feel like screaming at her “You are wasting your time” but I am not to know that for a fact. Chooks are marvellous birds, they will spend 21 days with so little food and water to tend to their eggs. I feel so much sadness for them when they are unsuccessful but they seem not to mind and just get back on with their foraging and destroying my garden.

The plum tree is now putting on a show, fully badged in white blossom and demanding my eye every time I walk past. I want to cut off huge branches and bring them indoors but they tire so quickly and it somehow feels selfish to take her beauty from her just because I can.

I am spring cleansing at the moment and I have been riding the emotional rollercoaster of doing life without sugar, dairy and gluten medication. This is a ritual I have been doing for about 25 years now and never regret it. I lighten up the foods I eat and then spend 3-5 days broth cleansing before returning to regular eat that is more aligned with spring more leafy green foods and seasonal green vegetables that grow up into the air like asparagus and all the pea family. Increasing the sour flavour by introducing pickles or a good squeeze of lemon to your meals will also help the digestion.

My lemon trees are now laden with lemons and I have spend a good part of the last week preserving them so they can be enjoyed in salads, drinks, tagines, salsas and dressings. Below is a recipe for preserved lemons. If you are new to them you only eat the skin after they have been stored in a cool dark place in the pantry for 6 weeks. You slice away the flesh and pith and discard and then thinly slice the rind. I also like to use the syruppy juice in dressings, marinades and sauces.

Preserved lemons

A good recipe for when you have a glut of lemons. You will need a large clean 2 litre jar that you can seal tightly

6 lemons

½ cup sea salt flakes

4 bay leaves

1 teaspoon mixed peppercorns

6 lemons, juiced

Wash the lemons and pat dry. Slice the top of the lemon. Cut the lemons into quarters without slicing all the way through at the stem end. Pack the lemons with salt.

Pack the lemons tightly into the jar pushing down to release any juice, with the bay leaves and peppercorns. Top up with the lemon juice ensuring the lemons are covering with juice. Seal and lemon in the pantry for 6 weeks.

To use, remove the flesh from the lemon and discard. Finely slice the rind with pith and serve it in sauces, tagines, curries, drinks, salads, salsas.

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My calendar is too often full. For many years I kept that calendar on my phone but since entering my menopausal “my brain is a colander” phase of life I have decided I need to have my calendar where I can see it. I need to glance at it before I go to bed to remind myself of what I have on the next day and then again when I wake and perhaps in the middle of the day. Yep, thats not exagerating.

Somedays I will have four to six different things on and I have since menopause forgotten one of the appointments in the day. No matter how many reminders I put on my phone for some reason my I grew up in the 70’s brain needs a calender.

So that is what I’m giving it. And it feels way more relaxing. The less I have to rely on technology to run my life the better. In Ayurveda when Vata is out of balance, we can have a tendency to forget. What leads to Vata being out of balance. Having too much to do. So until I can strip some tasks out of my life I need to write my appointments down on my very daggy calendar that is covered in scribbles.

I am curious how are you going with managing you to do’s if you are at this stage of life.

Next, I am considering going back to snail mail letters, because seriously I am not convinced that the direction that we have gone is good for our souls. Our addiction to more, faster, shorter and emojis just feels unsustainable. Or perhaps I am just getting old.

When Pitta is out of balance you are hot and that heat can show up in the body in many ways physically and emotionally. The increased fire can be a result of what you have eaten, I hear you saying you get hot flashes and you don’t eat chillies, however there are many other foods and drinks that can raise your body temperature.

I’ll list some of the most common ones that can raise a sweat - tomatoes, red meat, seafood (the salty flavour is heating), spices (ginger, star anise, clove, cinnamon, pepper), aged and salty cheeses. Obviously there are loads more and you can find that by googling. Red wine is like waving a red rag at a menopause hot flash bull, so too coffee and cacao for me along with all of the pickle and ferment family sadly.

Breaking up with intensely flavoured Pitta foods can be very sad and at first feel like someone has taken all the fun out of food. There is however a way we can still enjoy these food some of these foods some of the time we just need to make sure it is in the cooler months of the year.

As I said in the beginning though food isn’t the only thing that makes Pitta increase. Pitta rules transformation in the body so Pitta can become aggravated when it is not seeing a problem change, when it is continue subjecting itself to competitive environments and when it is not stay up to date with its emotions.

I have come to notice my temperature rises the moment I am under any type of stress that has me sending my energy to move upwards towards my head. I often find myself hot if I am trying to outthink an emotion, when I weasel wording instead of expressing myself honestly (fawning), when I’m trying not to cry, if I’m doing heating breathwork practices like Wim Hof. Basically whenever I find myself moving int my sympathetic nervous system - blood pumping to the extremities - getting me ready to propel my body into fight, flight, freeze or most regularly fawn.

When I can regulate my breath and tell myself I am safe my energy moves downward, I feel cool and calm. So “How do we stays out of our heads?” I hear you asking. Ayurveda recommends that we spend plenty of time in nature to help us calibrate our temperature, listening to music, journalling our thoughts onto paper and getting them out of heads, being compassionate with ourselves when we fail and to be less focused on what we think others will think of us. Pitta cares about how they look. Like fire they light to shine bright. Aging can feel hard, no matter how much we try we can’t outthink it or outrun it. The challenge for Pitta is to learn how to dim it’s light without feeling like it is disappearing.

Menopause has this weird way of increasing our internal heat and at the same time extinguishing our Pitta confidence. Instead of accepting this and make our peace with it Pitta’s natural tendency is to challenge, oppose, burn that theory to the ground. Yet in my experience the more we try to argue with menopause and the changes she brings the longer we will remain hot and angry.

You may want to take a pill to control your hot flushes but that has not been my choice. I want to hear my body talking to me, I don’t want to turn down that dial or interfere with that communication in anyway. Yesterday, I cooked Osso Bucco, it was a rainy day and I thought I’d get away with it. I add tomatoes (pitta aggravating) and preserved lemon (pitta aggravating) I loved every mouthful but afterwards I was uncomfortable. Teaching yoga I found myself sweating, burping and feeling impatient.

The weather was still too hot for me to eat that type of heating meal without suffering the consequences. This is where I find the whole eat a shed load of protein recommendation tricky. Protein is heating so Pitta types need to choose their proteins careful, white meat instead of red, freshwater fish instead of saltwater fish, fresh fish over canned, fresh cheese like cottage and ricotta or parmesan and Vintage

cheddar.

As I age clutter become a source of stress for me so slowly I am picking off one declutter project at a time. Autumn is the perfect season for letting go of unwanted stuff as we tend to accumulate extra things when we are feeling empty, unsatisfied and in need of something that we believe will provide us with momentary sweetness.

I happily cleared out a pile of cookbooks that hadn’t been opened in years, through out tax documents that I no longer needed and made space in the precious little room for storage, something that old homes in Australia lack.

The things I love most about the Marie Kondo process (which is the name I give to reviewing ownership of all things) is that I always find things that I forgot I had but I truly value. This time is was my grandmothers recipe books. The cover has fallen off, but it is not suffice to describe it as a cover because when I saw cover you think of a hard cardboard style cover. This is a wooden cover that she has hand painted. The contents of the recipe book are faded and hard to read in places. She has noted down recipes on the back of small envelopes, torn out recipes from old newspapers, collected loved recipes from friends. This little precious little book of faded, torn, aged loved recipes reminded me of her lifelong love of cooking. Until that moment I had never really ever felt connected to her. As a child she didn’t like me much so based on that dynamic I had concluded we were nothing alike. So when we visited her I would be good and quiet and avoid her. However, most of my memories I have of her are in her kitchen. She was an incredible cook and there were always home baked treats. Biscuits in one silver tin. Cakes on top in another tin and slices layered on top in another silver tin. I inherited these tins and still use them to store my baked goodies.

As I sat on the floor of my little store room reading through the faded folded pieces of paper recipes I felt I was being given a second chance to get to know her. I could look closely at what she was important enough to her to want to save without fear of her shushing me away. I discovered she preferred sweet recipes to savoury. Perhaps thats because baking is more of a science and good cooks are more courageous and adventurous with meats or it maybe that those were the days of meat and three veg.

What I do know is that there was never a day I visited her home that we didn’t sit at her kitchen table with her perched on her tall backed wooded chair that we were not offered a glass of cordial or on Kirks soft drinks that were delivered in wooden crates ( I always wanted the passionfruit one) and a delicious baked treat. I don’t think I ever saw a packet of store bought biscuits in her cupboard.

I don’t know if I got my love of cooking from her but I do know I understood in that kitchen that food can make people feel welcome even if people can’t.

However, my decision to gather women in autumn was born out of the knowledge that autumn during menopause can feel very lonely. The body can start to reveal the first signs of embodied grief. Aches may show up along the lung and large intestine meridian lines. Front of Shoulder tightness can now develop into frozen shoulder accompanied by the classic statement from doctors and physios “Very typical problem in menopause”.

I would like to go further here. Asking instead. “Is the frozen should the problem or is the root cause of the problem all the years of grief that women have been too busy to address?” And now the body is saying “Enough”. Tears need to be shed, losses must be grieved and no more pressing pause on this. No more waiting.

Other women may notice their normally healthy digestive system start to become problematic as the large intestine also is now impacted by menopause. In Chinese medicine the breath and the bowel are intimately connected so when we decide to manage the breath to police the grief we in turn inhibit elimination.

Autumn also has a drying effect on the skin so menopausal woman now notice their skin starts to look more like crepe paper than skin. No matter how much moisturiser one applies the dryness appears unrelenting. Next nails cracking, hair splitting, eyes drying and and and.

So it is. Autumn yields the first loud calls of the menopausal journey. Grief must be felt or the menopausal alternative is heat, control or unrelenting anger. It will be unlike any grief most women have ever known. For once the grief tap is open the sadness can feel unrelenting and overwhelming. This is the shedding that menopause demands of us all.

I encourage menopausal women to use autumn as a time to grieve all the endings. The end of their reproductive chapter, their time in the sun professionally, their parents may be ailing, marriages failing, children leaving home. And here you are alone with yourself. Possibly for the first time since your teens. And do you even know who you are?Autumn is not the season to find the answer to that question. That is not what she is asking from you. She instead requires you to discover what you value. Truly value.

Autumn wants you to decide will you continue to cling onto an outdated stagnant version of yourself or will you willingly give it all away. For when winter comes you are going to need all of your energy to attend to the bones of you.

So this is why I chose to start Gather in autumn. So I can stand beside women as they make these brave choices. To help all women who have forgotten the words NO, ENOUGH, GOODBYE. To help them remember the words “I matter”.

Below are some questions I would like you to reflect on this autumn if you are in menopause.

What or who is draining you and do you know you need to walk away from?

What is precious and valuable to you? I don’t mean possessions.

When was the last time you cried?

Have you grieved your changing body?

What are you afraid to grieve?

Are you someone who worries about everything? What would your life look like if you were brave enough to trust.

If you would like to join my wonderful community of menopausal women in Gather

www.jodyvassallo.com/gather

That its here to help me grow

Not instant ah ha moments

Cause there’s plenty I must unknow

Like how I prioritise other people

Always stepping back in a cue

Now it must be me first

To thine own self, I must be true

People and their problems

Must take a backward step

Now apparently I’m being ripened

For wise woman prep

One thing I’ve learnt about perimenopause

Is, it doesn’t punch or shout

Gentle hot anxious persuasion

Drip filters out any doubt

About people I’ve have tolerated

Things that prickled but I kept quiet

Now its “I don’t have time for them”

Or “No, that is just not right”

You see what I’ve come to understand

Is menopause ain’t my enemy

Unpredictable and annoying

Bringing growth I can’t yet see

Now free to live the dreams

Ive Promised myself all my life

Gently shedding heavy cloaks

Of daughter, mother, friend and wife

If there’s a word in menopause

We must find and all befriend

It is “NO” without a story

Simply. “No Thanks” Thats all. The end

You see this phase, this stage, this chapter

Whatever term you use

Will bring you to your knees at time

Feeling you could blow a fuse

This time won’t be clear or certain

In fact it’s a bloody mess

And if you don’t like messy babe

Prepare for capital S. STRESS

Cause menopause, she a truth talker

Doesn’t care what people think

Will end marriage, job or friendship

Quicker than one can think or blink

Resenting need to work for wage

Spirit begs “work less, please live more”

Hands on life’s clock ticking

Your body is keeping score

It’s showing you in the wrinkles

Smile lines, And sagging skin

No pause button, Aging now

Are you brave enough to begin?

Well one day it is , then the next day it’s not. I love that about autumn, it always reminds us of the irregularity of Vata. According to Ayurveda, autumn in ruled by the elements of air and space. The qualities of these elements are cold so now is the time to remember a jumper or cardi when you leave the house. They are dry and rough so you may notice your skin and hair feeling drier and your skin feeling rough and more like a reptile than a human. Vata rules movement in the body so if your mind wont shut up and you find you cant sit still or sleep through the night welcome to to autumn.

If you’re also over 4o years old you are also entering the Vata chapter of your life so welcome to Vata on steriods. Everything is changing. Vata is light so you may find things float through your mind and straight out the other side, you may feel like you are more easily annoyed by sound, light, chewing, the world you name it. It just seems to permeate the skin in a way you have never felt before. Oh and did I mention digestion, hows your gut? Bloated, gassy, constipated, irregular. Yep. It’s your old mate Vata farter!

So my friends what can you do? Get warm, start eating more warming foods, add ghee to your meals and warm drinks (not to much if you are feeling the Kapha kilos creeping on). Massage your skin with warmed cold pressed sesame oil, you may need to cut this with coconut oil or almond oil if it”s too heating. Also note to self it stains sheets and clothes so have an old towel to wipe off the excess. Remember we treat with opposites in Ayurveda so if its dry, oil it, if its cold, warm it, if its light, ground it, if its moving, slow it. It’s that simple. Music is a medicine for Vata it drowns out all those annoying people noises. Breathing space is essential for you in autumn but don’t too caught up with time alone or you’ll find yourself feeling lonely then filling your diary with lots of catchups then exhausted and peopled out! Yep I see you. And don’t you dare reach for the bubbly water or champagne or beer in autumn if all the above applies to you. Out of balance Air doesn’t need bubbles, crispy, crunchy, crackery textures. Yes I know you love them but they don’t love you. Not in autumn!! End of story.

A few autumn recipes for you all

What to buy in autumn if you are feeling out of whack, ungrounded, bloated, dodgy in the tummy, unable to sleep through the night.

Foods that grow close to the ground or into the grounding are grounding. So root vegetables are your friends.

Roast big trays of sweet potato, carrot, onion, zucchini, Cherry tomatoes and garlic, toss them in ghee and sprinkle with some fennel seeds and salt. Toss this through pasta or add it to cooked buckwheat or quinoa.

Black sesame milk

One of my all time favourite autumn drinks

1 tablespoon black tahini (buy this at the health food shop I like Cawari)

300ml milk of your choice

spig rosemary

Pour the black tahini with the milk into a small pan and whisk to combine add the rosemary and cook stirring over a medium heat until the milk is just about to boil, remove the rosemary sprig and serve.

Serves 1

Silky soft poached chicken

The best way to cook a whole chicken and keep the breast lovely and moist and yes you do leave it in the pan with the heat off for 2 hours it is not a mistake and do not rush this bit or you will have raw chicken. Do not say I did not warn you.

1 1.3kg chicken, you do you but I like to buy

6 thin slices of ginger

2 spring onions

pinch of white pepper

1/4 cup Chinese rice wine Shaoxing

2 tablespoons tamari

1 tablespoons toasted sesame oil

water, to cover

Place the chicken breast side up into a large pan, add the ginger, spring onion, pepper, rice wine, tamari, oil and enough water to cover the chicken.

Bring to boil and cook for 25 minutes. Turn off the heat. Cover and allow to stand for 2 hours.

Remove chicken and cut into pieces. I like to serve this with steamed rice, Asian greens, kecap manis and chilli oil. I ladle the hot cooking liquid over the chicken just before serving.

Welcome to Gather

An on online membership for perimenopausal and menopausal women who are looking for to come together and share their experience, stories and questions about this season of life . We will meet twice a month on Zoom, there will be two masterclasses each season and you will have access to free yoga classes, a resource library, recipes and more. Join for a year or a season.

I have been working on this very special offering for the last while. It has been so wonderful to have the time to create something I feel very passionate about supporting women through this chapter of life and it has been such a joy for me to bring together all of the things that have supported me on my menopausal journey into one place for you. The membership will move with the season and we kick off in Autumn with our first zoom call on April 7 at 7.00pm.

For more information click the link below

Gather Online Membership

Changing Seasons Podcast

To listen follow the link below

Changing Seasons Podcast

Whilst we are on the topic of Menopause. Have you listened to my podcast Changing Seasons. I am just about to record my 30th episode. There have been plenty of wonderful conversations and I have learnt so much from the fantastic guests that I have had been lucky enough to interview.

What’s on over the next few months

Yin Yoga Teacher Trainings

Dates for my Yin Yoga YTT for 2025

Narooma - 50hr Yin Yoga YTT - May 6-11,2025

Canberra - 50hr Yin Yoga YTT - June 17-22, 2025

Canberra - Advanced Yin YTT - July 31-August 3, 2025

Mt Eliza Victoria - 50hr YinYTT -July 8-13, 2025

One Day Retreat Mt Eliza

July 5, 2025

I will be running a One Day retreat with my dear friend Liza Baker. Liza is a wonderful cook, yoga and meditation teacher and artist. We have been talking about doing this retreat for years now and we have finally locked a date in the calender.

Spaces are limited on this one. So be quick. More details coming soon.

Japan Food and Yoga Tour

October 21 - November 1, 2025

After an absolutely fabulous trip to Japan last year, I’ve decided to make this a regular offering. If you are a foodie and you have not been to Japan, then what the heck are you doing? Seriously, I don’t even have words for how much I love the food in this country, and the people, and the onsens, and the yoga, and the trains, and the train food, and the nature, and the food and did I mention the food?

Only 3 rooms left.

For the full itinerary follow the link below

Japan food and Yoga Tour

And before I go I know you love to hear what I’ve been reading, listening to and watching

Books

The Women - Kristin Hannah

The Great Alone - Kristin Hannah

I’ve been girl crushing Kristin Hannah. She has such a way with words and I love her stories. However, I did find The Great Alone quite heartbreaking so even though I borrowed The Nightingale from the library it sits unread on my desk as my heart needs a rest.

So now I’m late to the party (nothing new) and reading The Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros and I can see it reeling me in. Just in time for winter, I’ll be sat up in front of my fire gobbling up the dragon tales.

Listening

Podcast

The Imperfects - just love this podcast and the guests these men get to speak to. I especially enjoyed the Layne Beachley and Mick Fanning episodes and Hugh’s letter about his child with autism and the impact it has had on his life.

Audiobooks

It Begins with You - Jillian Tureki

A wonderful book about the hard truths that will change your relationships

Die Wise A Manifesto for Sanity & Soul - Stephen Jenkinson

Stephen Jenkinson has worked in the death trade for many years. He questioned to medical approach to a terminal diagnosis which is if we could we should, which often leaves people dying longer without any real quality to life.

Jenkinson questions do we any of us know how to die? Confronting. Powerful and thought provoking. He has come to believe that we will die and we have lived.

I highly recommend this one.

And most nights a Yoga nidra before sleep or to get me to sleep.

Watching

The Resident - binge worthy hospital drama for when I can’t think or learn any more

Widow Cliquot - loved this movie about the widow who created Verve Cliquot

The Complete Unknown - The story of Bob Dylans arrival onto the music scene in New York in the 1960’s. A great watch.

Thats about it for this newsletter my friends. Go Gently. Stay warm and grounded and be nice to yourself and others.

Much love

Jody and Cliffy

xx

Today I realised that marketing myself is a very uncomfortable place for me. I feel about 11 years old. I am reminded of that horrible sick in the gut ache that I experienced waiting for a letter to arrive in the mail. The words inside the envelope would tell me if I had been chosen to play in my first ever representative netball team. I had tried my little heart out on the netball court for months and now the powers that be had decided if they were going to include me or not. Would I get to be part of a team? Would I be chosen? In being chosen would I feel more confident?

In my previous life as a cookbook author I joyfully wrote, tested and styled recipes for my cookbooks. Those recipes were edited, proofed, printed, published, marketed and sold not by me but by a team of highly talented people who were skilled and passionate about their professions.

These days of however the team has gone and for some reason we are now living in a world where I (like you possibly) find myself doing it all and I often find myself frozen, looking for my tribe, for my gang, the folks who were once glued together by a common love of creating things of purpose and beauty for the world.

I miss my editor who polished my words and made them shine. I long for my precision focused error eradicator proof reader and I pine for the sales and marketing team that used to drive me mad with their insane suggestions for book titles that seemed to always need to start with the same letter eg Brilliant Biscuits and Magnificent Mince!! What I would do now for a tablespoon of each one of their talents, a cup full of their confidence and a bucket full of their bravado.

Without collaborators I feel young, lost, confused, insecure and incredibly self critical. Expecting myself to know more than I do and be more than I am in that moment. If I were to give it an age I would probably say I’m around eight years old as that is when I can first remember being truly self aware. Knowing I was different. Not in a visual way (I’ve always known my skin was darker and that wasn’t truly Australian (according to the white people I grew up with), but in a I am not as confident as that other kid with the you can do it parent on the sidelines way.

Confidence is a muscle and I believe it first takes parents to massage it, to exercise it and to stretch it. Then friends might pitch in and help develop the definition in the muscle, then life will cramp it, waste it away and then success will built it up again and love will help develop it into a defined shape. Aging seems to wear confidence away in a sneaky way. The ego tells me I don’t care if I care I can’t do it anymore because I’m not that interested anyway. My energy isn’t what it used to be so let the young ones do it. However, I know they are just coping mechanisms to avoid being vulnerable. One needs to be pretty courageous to say I don’t know how to do this. Not knowing in a world that pretends to have an answer for everything.

Yet I find a passionate seed inside myself still wanting to show up. To try, to fail, to learn, to forget, to feel the shame of fear and anxiety of a constantly changing world of technology, and to ask for help because I still yearn for connection in a time that encourages us to feel disconnected, distrustful and defective.

It got me questioning. Do trees that don’t shed leaves in autumn, instead sacrifice bark? I could Google the answer but the answer isn’t of great importance.

You see it gave me the gift of seeing this season (autumn) from another perspective. For the past 10 or so years I have been trying to use autumn as a portal into learning how to let go, grieve and eventually someday die gracefully.

The bark in all its beauty was dead not with no purpose but to fuel my fire. However, it didn’t easily separate from its home and host the tree. It took a howling wind, that bent the tree and broke several branches and ripped the bark from its limbs.

Sometimes that what I feel life does with me. It demands I shed. The winds of change might blow gently on my life warning me that a change in attitude, relationship, location, career, health or finances in on the horizon. I may try to ignore the gentle breeze by putting on a warm distracting cardigan of busyness, denial, excuses, distractions, emotional eating, scrolling or people pleasing. Yet deep down inside of me I know that the bark is breaking. It’s time for letting go. I won’t be able to out think, out drink, out eat, out meditate, out rationalise, out yoga the pain of letting go.

The season of grief is here. New or old. Breathed in and embraced or breath held and resisted. The season for shedding is no longer asking me if I’m ready. She is telling me time is up and it is going. It’s not personal, it’s seasonal and necessary.

Winter needs to meet me naked.

Autumn has arrived. Its blowing a gale and I’m called to stay inside, cook, write and stay warm. In Ayurveda, autumn is the time when Vata can become elevated. The elements of air and space are fragile and a strong wind outside in the trees can translate to a sensitive human feeling flustered and unable to think. Our energy is in constant flux in this season. Excess movement of any kind can be really depleting and leave you feeling out of puff. No movement can be just as unhealthy.

So what movement are you unable to reign in? Is it the movement of thoughts racing round and round in your mind? Are you able to monitor the movement of your mouth, always needing to be in conversation? Or are you like me addicted to the movement of your attention from one thing to another, scrolling for hours searching for amusement and stimulation on social media. Perhaps it’s the movement of your digestive system as you constantly snack and give it a job to do. Or maybe its society’s most applauded movement, exercise. Must you do your 10,000 steps without fail or your yoga or pilates or or or. Fill in the blank. Or are you addicted to moving yourself in your car ducking to the shop for any reason? Whatever it is, are you aware of your inability to be still. To be with the silent empty element of space inside of you. Is all this movement an unconscious defense you developed early in life that protects you from yourself, your feelings, your loneliness, your demons, your ordinary life?

On the otherside of the coin we have the inability to move. Have your bowels become unable to move the toxins out of your body. Do you feel constipated, bloated or gassy? Are frozen and wanting to leave a relationship but can speak the words you need to? Is that job you’ve been at for years really the best place for you to be spending 8 hours a day? Have you become unable to imagine a different better version of your life so you have just stopped trying.

Vata rules the imagination and when I think of the elements of air and space I think of freedom and joy and playfulness and being childlike. They are gateways to my innocence, expansion, joy and change. But the energy is subtle and if it is too intense it is quickly too much, like any of the other elements too I suppose.

A gentle breeze blowing through my hair as I walk my dog on the beach is delightful, a roaring northerly wind lashing sand onto my legs as I tread exactly the same path along the beach leaves me feeling discombobulated and fragile.

Autumn may have you gazing around your home, evaluating your space. Do you need all this stuff? You may find yourself calculating the space between you and your partner or how distant you feel from friends and family. As the cooler days call us inside you may retreat willingly or there may be a desire to linger longer at coffee with friends as you realise how reluctant you are to be in your own space without the distraction of others.

For years the elements of space confused me, I could only perceive it as being outer space. Now space feels more personal and it is something I am very sensitive towards. I am very aware of who I invite into my home. I have a paddock anology I use. Only trusted safe people are allowed into my home paddock. People I like but I would have for dinner are in an outer paddock and then people I see now and then maybe in a paddock across the road. These days I value myself enough to be aware of my personal space. When I was younger I was desperate for friends and company and would have no boundaries as to who I let into my personal space. Time and pain have taught me to be more protective of the element of space and now it is one of my most treasured.

Vata also governs our hearing so you may find yourself feeling overly sensitive noise in autumn. The loud music coming from your neighbours home after dark may rob you of a good nights sleeps or wanting to strangle the operator of the early morning leaf blower.

Jimi clarified for me that the wounded healer is not healed. The wounded healer remains wounded and is walking and working in the world. It is the wound that allows the healer to truly see, hear and have compassion for the people they are working with. The wound prevents the healer from developing an inflated ego.

We all know those teachers, gurus, wellness practitioners who have an arrogance about them. They have no hesitation in telling you that have all the answers to illness, wounding and pain. Or even more annoying they are above suffering. Or have miraculously figured out a way to avoid it and live happily ever after. I never trust those people. Now I know why. No one is without suffering no matter they are spinning to others.

After my conversation with Jimi I realised I have spent my entire life trying to be like those people. Ashamed of my own pain, grief and failings, I’ve spent countless hours trying to polish myself to make the wounded part of me more palatable to the world. For as long a I can remember that has been the message the world has broadcast. Show up tidy, trendy, made up, put together, emotionless and agreeable. Meditate, be lady nice, cage your anger and dam the grief and don’t dwell in the darkness for too long as it won’t make you palatable.

So now I feel I have permission to show the world my cracks. I question if I am courageous enough to do this. Funny how I think I need to do that perfectly too. Don’t want to be too messy, too emotional, too vulnerable. How will I cope with the turning away of others, their disapproving gazes, the disdain for my darkness as it mirrors their own?

I have so much more to write about this but for no I am just going to leave it here. I would however like to ask you

“Have you tried to extinguish any evidence of wounding in your life?”.

“Did you believe you needed to be fixed in some way before you could be the person you wanted to be in the wellness, teaching, healing world?’

I think this is an important conversation for us all to be having.

If you would like to follow my fabulous doctor, friend and wizard Dr Jimi Wollumbin you can find him on Instagram @drjimiwollumbin. His course The Unwounded Womb is starting February. 20205

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Food changes made a big difference but if I’m being honest it was the lifestyle changes that really moved the needle for me. You see Pitta is hot, fiery, impatient, intense, sharp and its job in the body and our lives is to transform things.

As menopause ramped up for me I started to notice that my pre-existing super power to transform problems into solutions was decreasing. I wasn’t any near as interested in offering unsolicted advice to friends about their health or relationship dilemmas and I got really good at avoiding dramas. My body that could once eat five meals a day and not gain weight now gained weight as my digestive fire flickered. I didn’t get over colds as quickly as I used to or heal from bugs with the same vigour. I no longer could imagine a project and then bring it to life in a split second. My jets were cooling.

Intense people became annoying. My affair with intense Asian flavours ended abruptly after months and months of derobing at meal time because I was unwilling to admit that the combination of sesame, soy and miso was doing me no favours.

My desire to move quickly was still present but every time I found myself rushing I soon thereafter found myself flushing so I was forced to begrudgingly slow down. My sharp critical penetrating Pitta gaze on the world has always demanded more of myself and others than was humanely possible. In the first chapter of menopause I was angry with everything and the angrier I got, you guessed it. The more I sweated. So then I decided I’d control those angry emotions with yoga and meditation and mindfulness. But I’m here to tell you control is a heating strategy and it will get you to the exactly the same place as eating a big bowl of spicy Ramen. Fuck it’s hot in here.

It seemed the harder I tried to be good at menopause the harder it pushed back at me. I was not going to be able to outsmart my hormones. A more cooling, calming, grounded, softer, sweeter Kapha approach was needed to the whole situation.

I will speak more about that in my next post.

x jody

I would get to 11 months and be quietly telling myself “this is it girl your almost done” and then at the most inconvenient hour (read in the middle of a bushfire!) I’d discover my period had decided to show up again when there was not a sanitary pad or tampon insight. It went on like this for about three years.

Quietly, other changes were happening but by this point I was wound up so tight with work commitments and life stories that I just blamed it all them. Of course, I was fucking intolerant and impatient I had to keep it all together because I’d created a world for myself that was centred around schedules, results and other peoples affirmative nods. No surprise I found myself exhausted, but was I really exhausted or did I just need to clean up my diet, go to bed early and commit to a 5 day a week yoga practice I could find that old version of me I just need to be more disciplined.

It was until the sleep started to go haywire that I began to question the what actual fuck was going on. Waking up at 2am or 4am night after night after night after night.This was not me. In my previous “I can sleep life” I only ever woke up to pee and then went straight back to sleep. Not anymore, something had taken my sleep hostage along with my memory.

The memory bit was actually terrifying. I tried to hide it from myself for a long time. Pretending it wasn’t happening. Thinking I could “out calendar” the problem, but no matter how many reminders I put into my phone I’d still forget appointments, important ones. I started Duolingo, learning a language can help your memory apparently and it did, for a while. Yet, it didn’t miraculously reinstate my cognitive function.

I’ve come to believe it’s all part of a bigger, wiser menopause plan. In this chapter of our ONE BIG LIFE the head is meant to take a back seat to the heart. Gone are the days where I am certain of the outcome. Replaced instead by a gentle curiosity about what could be possible.

Change is the only constant in my post menopausal reality. How I meet that reality is now is up to me to choose. My first option is still usually. “I’m not ready”. And the response these days is most often “Well you best get ready”.

I have just returned from a one month trip across Australia with my best mate and his two teenage kids. Long story short I started eating like a teenager. I indulged in way too many bakery treats which I justified by “its my job to review every bakery in Australia”. For those of you interested -the winner was a small bakery in Robe in South Australia. The Pastry Place Robe is making the best croissants I’ve ever tasted and I would drive back to Robe (which is 3 days aways) to eat them and oh and ah all over again. Her apple cinnamon and cream croissants are out of this world and her lobster croissants are insane. Poh’s pandan jelly cakes at her Jam Face stall in Adelaides Farmers Market came in second followed by the pretzels I went back twice for in the same market.

All of this plus the excess carbs (of course I want chips with that, and daily dairy because why would i not have a gelato by the beach in Geelong, homemade scones with organic cream in the garden at Schulz Organic Dairy in Timboon and and and.

But this is not a post about food. This is a post about why I chose to abstain from food for three days. Well its because I’m obsessed with food. I love it and its basically on my mind every waking hour. That’s ok when the food is healthy but not so OK when the food I’m consuming is leading to my pants getting smaller and smaller until its difficult to do up my pants and even when I can all I think about it when can I undo them.

I have been a person who does a regular detox one in autumn, one in spring but I’ve also been the person who thinks because I do that I’m allowed to eat whatever I choose in between. This was OK when I was in my 20s and 30s but as I neared my 40’s my tug to toward the sweet flavour increased.

Which brings me back to why I did the 3 day water fast. I had developed the habit of eating and hunting for a sweet treat to follow. So I made the decision, cleared the fridge and committed to myself to 72 hours without anything but water. I wont lie I was nervous. I hate being hungry and get my grumpy and lethargic when I am. As luck would have it I had 3 rainy days for my fast so I just stayed inside did my best not to think about food.

To be honest it was nowhere near as challenging as I thought it would be. I had eliminated dinner on the 2 days before I had begun the fast so it wasn’t such a shock to the system. The afternoon and the night of the second day were the hardest. I saw it as an exercise for my mind as I directed my thought about food into other directions.

I found myself feeling very clear so I was able to work in a calm relaxed way. Cooking wasn’t necessary so I had plenty of time on my hands to rest. Energy wasn’t high so I made sure I didn’t overdo it and only did gentle exercise and slept when I felt tired.

I broke my fast with bone broth and some sauerkraut for my microbiome then gently eased my way back to food with soups. Following Dr Mindy Pelz 3 day Water Fast protocol helped me feel safe doing the fast. However, next time I will take electrolytes as I did experience some cramping in my stomach on the second day I broke my fast. Drinking coconut water, having an epsom salt bath and eating some greens and banana helped remedy that.

The results of my fast were noticeable. My pants now fit me again. I no longer haver unmanageable sugar cravings. My taste buds are so tuned in to all the flavours. Fruit tastes so sweet.I feel so calm and clear and focused on what I need to do instead of what I want to eat.

It’s been a great reset to start 2025.

It happens every year.

The summer starts to soften

And with it comes a tear

A tear for belly laughter

Which only summer brings

Barbies, beach and bathers

And all the heartfelt things

Sun on face medicine

Long days with friends and food

Hard to find a better season

To soothe and lift the mood

This group will be hosted by me, Jody Vassallo and we will meet for regular zoom calls, masterclasses, meditations and cooking classes.

Membership will open Late January 2025 for more information go to my website

Jody Vassallo Website

“Start” I say. Then “Don’t”

“I can write. I’ll do it”

Then all the reasons. Won’t.

This dipping and this dodging

Brings me to my knees

Once again I’m stalling

Intentions on the breeze

Run at it faster

When it fails. No need for tears

Wait. Still not ready

The mantra of my fears

I can’t. I say. Freezing

Needs a bit more shine

Fix. Edit. Preen & Polish

Soon it will be fine

With unspoken deadline looming

I shame, blame my lazy arse

Knew you’d not finish it

Waste of time. All just a Farce

See Sally and Suzanna

They’ve launched it.

Feathers fluffed and Proud

Me. “Yet to start it”

Shame now so damn loud

A course will surely fix it

Shadow one with Insta fame

Follow. Fawn. And mimic

That’s how I’ll play the game

I can’t run now I’m crawling

Can’t even find my spark

Think I’ll take my book & cuppa

And lay down in the park

It’s possibly the peri

She’s robbed me of my drive

Hot, anxious, tired and sleepless

Too soon for bed at five

Now I jog towards projects slowly

Running quickly out of puff

Longing for the former me

Who thrived on all that stuff

Whilst old me wastes in compost

A new older me now sits here

Staring blankly and pondering

Who I will be next year?